Coping with dementia

Use routine to structure day
Going through the same routine for daily or weekly activities can help in a number of ways. For the caregiver, it gives a sense of control and order to the day (at least, most days). And for the person receiving the care it helps to keep them better oriented to time, fosters independence on some tasks, and helps to decrease frustration. Some tips for developing a routine include:

• Use past routines to help develop yours. If your parent or partner always showered in the morning, consider bathing in the morning.

• Allow sufficient time for tasks.

• Use “good times” of the day for more complicated tasks. If the person suffering from dementia is clearer-headed in the morning, for example, this may be a better time for a larger meal or for visitors to come by.

• Simplify routines as much as possible, breaking them down into the same small steps each day. Giving one instruction at a time can help to keep things running smoothly.

• Use external cues to help emphasize the routine. Lay the toothbrush out on the counter each morning. Play the same music during meals, or before going to bed. Sit in the same chair before putting on shoes to go out. You can also use pictures to label things if reading is becoming difficult.

Let go of logic
Often we maintain expectations of our loved ones beyond their ability to meet them – the idea, for example, that if we explain something logically they will be able to understand why they must do a certain thing, or stop doing something else. The difficult reality is that someone who is suffering from dementia is losing or has lost his or her capacity to apply logic at all times. Instead of explaining, it can help to stick to simple sentences about what is going to happen or what must be done next.