When someone you love is depressed

Why then is it so difficult to watch a family member suffer from depression? Part of the difficulty comes from the stigma of mental illnesses, particularly an illness that is often related to “the blues.” The cultural assumption is often that if people didn't want to be depressed – if they would only get out of bed and do something – they would feel better.

But true depression is much more complex than that. The US's National Institute of Mental Health states on its website: “Depression is a serious medical condition. In contrast to the normal emotional experiences of sadness, loss, or passing mood states, clinical depression is persistent and can interfere significantly with an individual's ability to function.” And being the partner of someone who is depressed and potentially starting to experience difficulty functioning through the daily stresses of every day life can be very difficult.

Accepting your feelings
Dealing with someone who is depressed can be frustrating and well, depressing. It's extremely frustrating to continually reach out to someone who doesn't seem able to respond, or to respond appropriately or consistently. It's perfectly normal to feel annoyed and angry, and even despairing.

If you have been feeling this way and it is beginning to impact on your own quality of life, support for yourself should be your first priority. Finding a counsellor or support group can make all the difference as you navigate the waters of supporting a family member as he or she grapples with the disease and its results.