Who calls, who pays - who cares?Article By: Evelyn Lazare
Let's face it: dating in mid-life can be awkward.
Two young women were overheard talking about dating. "If I'm still dating in my 50s," one said, "give me an arsenic martini and put me out of my misery." Of course, we know that she got it wrong. It's not still dating. It's dating again. And that's a whole different story. Although some people have never married or had a long-term relationship, the vast majority have. For them, a return to the dating scene after a hiatus of 10, 20 or even 30 or 40 years can be daunting. It's not that they haven't dated before. It's that "before" was long ago. It may have been as far back as highschool or college. What happens when, through the death of a partner, or through divorce, they are back on the dating scene? It's hard to break out of the coupled social scene they have been part of and to meet unattached people. Some people are fixed up on blind dates. Others search the Internet. Still others meet colleagues at work or at social, sport, religious or other activities. Increasingly, people in mid-life turn to introduction services to meet like-minded people whose paths they might never otherwise cross. But how do they behave on that first date? Even before it? Human nature lets us fall back on past behaviours as a guide to present ones. Take riding a bike: it's said we never forget how. No matter our age, we intuitively recall how to gain and maintain our balance. Even if we haven't been on a bicycle for many years. Does the same apply for dating? Yes and no. If the last time a man dated was in his early 20s, he might remember how he dated back then. But is that the way to act, now that he's in his 50s? Is it still correct for him to make the first call or should the woman phone? Developing a relationship in mid-life is difficult enough without a stumbling block even before the first date. Some men and women feel very strongly about this, and the consensus seems to be that the man should make the first call. Perhaps it's traditional or perhaps it's just old-fashioned, but it does seem to be the preference of many. Of course, if the woman wants to be the one to phone, it's her choice. But men should know that some women, even those who are highly successful professionals, would just not do that. No matter how self-confident she is in her career, there is something about being tre
© 2007 Evelyn Lazare
|
Laughter is the best medicine. Read and post jokes and funny stories here.